Whod you bang
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
