so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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