Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
