they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
