im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
its liver damage thursday
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
