WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
