Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize