i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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