I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's blow job season.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The struggles of a small town man whore
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
