i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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