these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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