every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
