I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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