I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
