walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
