I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
