I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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