4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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