And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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