brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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