I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
