Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
