Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
