based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
