She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
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I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
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Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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