guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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