i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
