If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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