I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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