I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
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I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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