Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
