I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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