What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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