he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
