I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
