They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize