i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
