when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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