at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
