i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
