Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
