Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
