After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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