He had one of those small greek statue penises
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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