Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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