On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
