Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
