No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize