Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
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