Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
