he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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