I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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