But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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