distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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