i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
