i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
