he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
