girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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