she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
