do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
