apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
FUCK WHALES
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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