i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
